I found in one of the newspaper articles, Los Angles Daily Gerald, was talking about how Major Kress found hostile indians moving large number of horse across the river, and some of the horse returned to the Oregon side of the river. Then Major Kress destroyed the indians camp. When writing about what Major Kress did the wording made him sound like a knight in shining armor. By saying "hostile" indians made the indians sound dangerous, but throughout that story it never said what the indians did. Did they attack? At the end of the article they writers made sure to say "Scouts are out" to give the read a sense of security that they are safe.
Dear Diary,
It's July 9, 1878. I was reading the Los Angles Daily Gerald. Oh my goodness, article after article talking about the hostile Indians. One was that the Indians attacked Captain Sperry and his company while they were eating lunch! How awful is that, you know just sitting there eating your lunch and BAM! You are under attack!!!! They fought them twice in one day. Once when the Indians surprised attacked them and again while they were heading to Pendleton. How awful!! Theses Indians are out of control, but good thing is in another article they said they had some scouts out watching the indians. So that's good we are safe from the hostile indians. Beside from the Indians I saw a advertisement for a new shoe and boot place!! Yay! It's on main street, I am actually going to head down there now and scout out there shoes, and to see if they have anything cute!
I like how you used words like "BAM!" and "Yay!" It made reading the letter a lot more interesting. I also like how you said you were gonna go down to the store that was being advertised to see if there was anything good.
ReplyDeleteThank you for being a both worldly and hilarious character! You were skeptical of bias in the article you read, but your diary entry was really cute as well.
ReplyDeleteI really like the use of words to make it more interesting and pop out. It was a good story about what happens and the effect of it. l like how you go from a story about indians and then go to a shoe store haha funny!
ReplyDeletei love how you were talking about breaking news and then went BAM you started to talk about shoes.
ReplyDeleteThe use of the exclamation point really brought your story life! I loved the personal touch and the way it read :) I think the of the the word "there" in the second to last sentence might make more sense if it said "their" or "the".
ReplyDeleteI like how you talked about the information about the Indians in the paper, then transitioned to talking about the shoe advertisements.
ReplyDeleteYou have great diction!
ReplyDeleteKeep looking out for those Indians they can really be trouble!
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